What is Sleep Training?
The big question: What is sleep training? (And does the Goodnight House sleep train?!)
There is a LOT of drama around the term sleep training and we know it’s a taboo term. Do a quick search in any online mom group and you’ll see what we’re talking about if you don’t already. We’re here to try and clear things up once and for all and hopefully ease your mind.
There are a lot of assumptions around babies and sleep, but our goal with sleep is for parents to come alongside their babies and help them establish healthy sleep habits.
IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:
What is sleep training?
How sleep works
What are the different sleep training methods?
Will sleep training teach my child to shut down or that I won’t respond to their needs any longer?
What method of Sleep Training does the Goodnight House use?
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Blog Post: What is Sleep Training?
1:1 Personalized Sleep Packages for babies and children over 4 months old
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What is sleep training and what are the different methods?
“Simply put, Sleep Training is helping babies learn to fall asleep and connect their sleep cycles unassisted so they can get the sleep they need to grow, develop, and thrive. ”
A little background on how sleep works
Sleep happens in cycles. We get drowsy, we transition through light sleep, into deep sleep, back into light sleep, and then everyone (adults and babies), wake up just a tiny bit, during what is called a partial arousal (or mini waking).
You’ve probably noticed yourself wake up for a split second at night when you roll over or look around and then fall right back to sleep.
Adults and babies have these partial arousals multiple times a night. For adults, the wakings are so brief, we rarely even remember them in the morning.
If your baby doesn’t know how to fall asleep during these mini wakings, they end up having to wake up all the way and call for help. This can happen multiple times every night. It’s also one of the main reasons your baby may be taking short naps during the day. They don’t know how to connect their sleep cycles smoothly.
Also, imagine if you fell asleep in your bed but woke up in your bathtub as you were transitioning in and out of a sleep cycle. You would probably be extremely alarmed. This is the same thing that happens to our babies when they fall asleep rocking, nursing, or being held. When they transition in and out of their next sleep cycle and find themselves alone in their crib, they’re (understandably) going to be very alarmed and cry out for you.
This is where sleep training comes in.
“Regardless of the sleep training method, the ultimate goal is to help your child learn to fall asleep independently, in their own sleep space, and resettle throughout the night in the same sleep space. This prevents them from experiencing the alarm of finding themselves unexpectedly alone or waking somewhere they weren’t anticipating.”
What are the different sleep training methods?
There are dozens of “sleep training” methods out there that range from more extreme (Extinction / Cry it Out) to very gentle (No Cry Sleep Solutions).
The goal is all the same with each method: for your child to learn how to fall asleep and connect sleep cycles unassisted, in order to increase their sleep quality and quantity.
The biggest difference between methods is how hands on you are during the process and how long each method takes.
You also need to choose a developmentally and age appropriate method.
The most extreme sleep training method is called “cry it out” or Extinction.
Some mistakenly think that any crying during any sleep training is considered the “cry it out method.” However, this is incorrect. The true cry it out (Extinction Method) is explained below:
The child is laid down in their crib after their bedtime routine and the parent does not return to their room until their pre-determined morning wake up time.
This is the quickest method and parents typically see results in just a few nights.
At the complete other end of the spectrum, there are no cry sleep sleep training methods.
These methods are extremely gentle ways in which to help your child learn to fall asleep independently. With these methods, parents make very small tweaks over an extended period of time. These methods can take weeks (or more often months) to see big changes.
Click HERE to get your child’s perfect daily schedule!
Here are some of the different sleep training methods from gentle methods to the full on “cry it out” method.
No Cry Sleep Solution
The Sleep Lady Shuffle
Babywise
The Pick-up Put-down Method
Ferber
Extinction (Cry it out)
Will sleep training teach my child to shut down or that I won’t respond to their needs any longer?
Does sleep training cause babies and children to give up and just not call for help because they learn it won’t come?
Absolutely not ❤️ Your child will still call out to you for other reasons (dirty diaper, sickness, pain, scared etc). Sleep training simply helps alleviate the fear that comes when they wake alone or in different, unexpected conditions. They will no longer have to call out to you for help when they transition through sleep cycles.
What method of Sleep Training does the Goodnight House use?
At the Goodnight House, we fall somewhere in the middle of the sleep training spectrum.
While we personally don’t feel comfortable with the true Cry it Out / Extinction approach, we also don’t think it’s realistic to expect zero crying whatsoever. For some children we use a stay in the room method, and for others we use a controlled leave and check method. The method we use depends on the child’s personality, their age, their specific needs, and the family’s unique circumstances.
What about crying?
God has given our babies the ability to cry in order to communicate and express their needs to us. No one likes change. As adults, we use our words to express our frustration or protest change. When babies are faced with change or something new, they protest too. Their protesting often takes the form of crying. Our babies and kids need to be able to express themselves and their emotions.
We can never guarantee there won’t be any crying, but we do everything we can to set your child up for the smoothest transition possible.
Our goal is to give you confidence by equipping you with the knowledge necessary to help your baby get the sleep they need. We want you to have clarity by giving you an easy to follow, step by step approach with tools and strategies backed by science (evidence based research). Lastly, we want you to know you’re not alone. We come alongside you to support and encourage you through the entire process.
When should we start sleep training?
First of all: it’s never too late to help your child get the sleep they need.
At the Goodnight House, we take the first 12 weeks to lay the foundation for healthy sleep. This is the smoothest way to set you and your baby up for success when it comes to sleep.
If your baby is 4+ months and they need help learning to fall asleep and connect their sleep cycles, this is a great time to proactively help them learn.
There are so many methods and opinions out there and we’re here to help you weed through all of the info and give you a straightforward game plan you can use with confidence. We work one on one with families through our Personalized Sleep Plans.
When you sign up, we automatically send you a questionnaire to fill out all about your child. We go over everything and come up with a personalized plan. Then we have a 60 minute call to go over the plan with you and answer any and all questions. There are a few different support options. Some people like to do email or voxer support (voice messaging support) for 21 days etc. This page will give you more info + links to the different options.