Independent Play Time
At the Goodnight House, we look at your child’s days just as much, if not more, than we look at their nights. It all works together to promote and encourage sleep.
Independent playtime is something we implement with a lot of our families, with the children we work with and with siblings. It has so many benefits!
1. What is independent Playtime?
Independent playtime (or Pack n’ Play / Room Time) is where you give your child space to play independently, away from you, in a safe environment such as a blanket on the floor, a pack n play, or their bedroom.
2. What is the purpose / benefit for children?
The purpose and benefits of room time are to:
Encourage independent-play skills
Encourage mental focusing skills and attention span
Foster creativity and imagination
Encourage patience
Encourage confidence
We have also seen independent play help kids become better at playing together with other kids and improve their overall behavior throughout the day when given the space to play independently.
3. What are the benefits for parents:
Provides you with a chance to recharge or rest so you can show up better for your family
Provides time for you to cook dinner / clean up which helps keep your home running smoothly
4. What does Independent play look like at different ages:
Newborns: For a newborn, independent play is laying them on the floor with a baby gym or toys to look at for 5-10 minutes (mom stays out of eye-sight).
6-18+ months: When your baby begins to roll and become more mobile, independent play should be moved to the pack n play (Pack n Play time) or a play yard to keep them in one place. It can be helpful to put the pack n play somewhere where they can’t see you.
Watch the video below to see my 10 month old doing Pack n’ Play Time:
2+ years: We recommend keeping them in the pack n play or play yard as long as they’re content. When you think they’re ready you can move independent play to a room (room time). Room time can be done in any room (a bedroom, the living room, a play room etc, but it works best if they can’t see you).
Independent play tends to work best if your child is in a space where they can’t see you, but you can see them whether you put their pack n play in another room or you do room time in their bedroom. We know from personal experience this isn’t always possible though, and that’s ok!
Watch the video below to see my 2.5 year old doing room time:
How long should independent play be?
Newborns: 5-10 minutes a few times per day
6-18+ months: 10-20 minutes 1-2 times per day
2+ years: 20-40 minutes 1-2 times per day
Ideas for independent play:
Independent play shouldn’t require you to supervise, so this isn’t the time for sensory bins or water play ;)
Music
Set aside special toys only for pack n play time and rotate them every few days
Don’t offer them too many toys or they’ll get overwhelmed
That all sounds great, but how exactly do we start implementing Independent Play Time in our house?
Choose a consistent time (or times) to do independent playtime each day.
Choose an age appropriate space (blanket, pack n play, or room) where they can’t see you, but where you can see and hear them (we recommend using a baby monitor).
Newborn: Independent play time is pretty easy to implement with a newborn. You just plop em down on a blanket with something interesting to look at. If they cry when you lay them down, start slow. Lay down on the ground next to them and then work on slowly moving further away over the next few days until they’re comfortable by themselves.
6-18+ months: At this age your baby is going to be acutely aware that you’re leaving them. If they’ve never done independent play before, they’re going to need some practice. You can start by sitting next to them the first few times and slowly moving further away over the next few days.
If it’s too hard to sit with them (i.e. they’re in a pack n play and it’s too hard to lean over the edge etc), you can set a timer and slowly increase the time each day. Start with just one minute if necessary. Set them in the pack n play, show them their toys, and happily say, “Ok baby, it’s time for pack n play time. Have fun!” Step away, out of their line of sight. When the timer beeps (make sure they can hear it), return to them and make a huge deal about how great they did in pack n play time, even if there were some tears. Clap and dance and tell them how great they did. Continue practicing a few times a day for 1 week and extend the timer each time. It usually takes 3-5 days of consistent practice.
2+ years: For older toddlers starting in room time we like to do room time with them for the first several times. Do room time consistently, at the same time each day. Talk to them about it and make sure they know it’s “room time.” Always set the timer and make a big deal about how well they did when the timer beeps. After playing with them a few times, try sitting in a chair away from them and “read” your own book. Instruct them that it’s room time and they need to play with their toys. After a few more times, put them in room time alone.
Room time can be done in any room, but obviously the room should be baby-proofed and safe (secure big pieces of furniture, remove cords, cover outlets etc). From personal experience, Jess recommends removing vaseline and/or baby creams as well ;)
Just because they’re in their room doesn’t mean it’s a free for all in there. Continue to give them special, age appropriate toys to play with. Pulling clothes out or destroying their bedrooms is not considered appropriate room time activities ;)
Continue to use a baby monitor or put a baby gate in their doorway so you can still see and hear them during room time.
Help them clean up their toys at the end of each independent playtime. Eventually they’ll start doing it on their own.
Before you decide if this is for you or not, consider a few things:
Ask yourself “Why.” Do you and your husband see any benefits to trying this? Talk through how you feel it can help your family. Doing something just because someone else is doing it will probably make you throw in the towel pretty quickly. You will want to be able to give the reason “why” to your kids if they are a little older. Help them understand whenever you are introducing something new to them.
Aside from all of the benefits listed above, implementing independent play time can actually a way to keep your children safe by being proactive with teaching them to learn boundaries.
Are you hesitating because you aren’t sure of their ability to handle something that seems so structured? A few years ago we helped a friend who had a daycare in her home. She had 7 children from the ages of 2-4. Each morning, she would set up toys on a blanket and set a timer. After 10 minutes, they would rotate to a different blanket in order to have a turn with a different set of toys. This was actually the kids’ favorite part of their day! They had independent play where they didn’t have to share what they were playing with, but it also made them realize they would soon get a turn with something new. Even extremely young children can learn to play independently!
Is your child struggling with sleep?
If your child struggles with sleep, please know there is hope! Our mission at the Goodnight House is to equip parents with the tools necessary to help their babies get the sleep they need and experience more rest, peace, and joy in parenting.
If you have a newborn 0-12 weeks and you’re wanting to help establish great sleep habits from the very beginning, our online Newborn Class is for you! This class will make any future transitions, like transitioning out of the swaddle, much easier on your little one.
If you have an older baby or toddler, we offer 1:1 Personalized Sleep Plans to help get your child (4+ months) sleeping 11-12 hours per night.