How to Drop the Pacifier or Soother
At the Goodnight House, we love pacifiers for newborns 0-12 weeks. During the newborn phase, sucking on a pacifier is helpful for several reasons. They allow newborns to fulfill their desire to suck even after they’re full and they also significantly comfort and calm babies.
Newborns have different sleep cycles than adults or older babies, and their sleep is so deep that when the pacifier falls out of their mouth, it typically doesn’t wake them up.
Between 12-16 weeks, when your baby’s sleep cycles develop (aka when they go through the four month sleep regression), the pacifier actually becomes a disruption to sleep and loses many of the developmental benefits it previously offered.
Because your baby is no longer a newborn, their pacifier/soother is no longer serving them in the same ways it was before.
You’ll know what we mean if you’ve ever played “paci-pong” with your little one in the middle of the night: Every 45 minutes or so you hear your baby cry and you have to re-plug their paci in for them to be able to go back to sleep.
Why does the pacifier disrupt sleep after 12-16 weeks?
A pacifier is considered a sleep prop. A sleep prop is simply anything external that helps your child fall asleep.
There are Independent Sleep Props, which are sleep props that don’t need parental intervention and a child can be independent with them. These include things like swaddles or sleep sacks, a dark room, a bedtime routine, white noise etc.
There are also Dependent Sleep props, which are sleep props that require parental intervention to help the child fall asleep. These include things like rocking to sleep, feeding to sleep, walking to sleep, and bouncing on a yoga ball to sleep.
Some sleep props are more appropriate at different stages of development (like swaddling and using the pacifier with your newborn). Some sleep props are great to use whenever (like a sound machine).
Adults and babies sleep in cycles. As we transition between one sleep cycle to the next, we all experience a brief awakening. Adults breeze right through these mini wakings and barely notice them.
“If a baby doesn’t know how to fall asleep on their own (if they depend on someone or something else - aka a sleep prop, like sucking on a pacifier or soother - to help them fall asleep) they will fully wake up between sleep cycles during these mini wakings and need help falling back to sleep. ”
The trouble with the pacifier is that if your child is dependent on it to fall asleep, when it falls out or gets lost during sleep, they will experience broken sleep.
The pacifier falling out during sleep may be enough to wake your child. When your child transitions through sleep cycles and has one of those mini awakenings, they will have to wake up all the way and call you for help to replace it.
This causes them to get extremely broken sleep.
Think about how you feel the morning after an intense night of paci-pong. They feel the same way. They got just as broken sleep as you did!
If you want a more thorough explanation of the 4 month sleep regression or what happens during sleep, check out our blog on the Four Month Sleep Regression and How Your Baby’s Sleep Works.
Click HERE to get your child’s perfect daily schedule!
Signs that it’s time to drop the pacifier:
Your baby is 16+ weeks.
Your child’s pacifier / soother is interrupting sleep at night or during naps.
Your child is suffering from short naps because the pacifier / soother keeps falling out.
There are cases when a baby older than 6+ months is sleeping 12 hours at night and taking stellar naps WITH a pacifier. If this is your child and you don’t believe the pacifier is causing any sleep disturbances whatsoever, you may decide to continue using the pacifier with your little one.
Aside from sleep issues, pacifiers can also cause dental issues in kids between the ages of 2-4+ years old. Always consult with your pediatrician or pediatric dentist.
How to begin gently transitioning a younger baby away from the pacifier:
Begin practicing with your little one around 10-12 weeks old.
Begin by leaving their pacifier / soother in their crib during the day and only using it during sleep.
Practice giving them opportunities to fall asleep without it or gently remove it once they've fallen asleep. If they wake when you try to remove it, it’s ok to give it back. Try again at the next sleep time.
After about 16 weeks old, it’s time to say goodbye to the pacifier completely.
How to drop the pacifier / soother with an older baby or toddler:
If you have an older baby or toddler who uses a pacifier, here are a few things you can begin doing:
Begin by limiting the pacifier to when your child is in their crib for sleep (no more all-day sucking).
Introduce a lovey or stuffed animal and offer it at every sleep to encourage your child to bond with it.
For toddlers, begin talking to them and prepping them about being all done with their pacifier. You may want to get a few children’s books specifically geared towards helping little ones say goodbye to their pacifier.
Finally, come up with a simple plan to say goodbye to the pacifier for good. Below are a few creative ways to do this, but the hard truth is that you ultimately have to pick a night to officially be done with the pacifier / soother.
A few creative ideas for dropping the pacifier / soother for good:
Use a Binkabear Bear: Each Binka Bear comes with a rhyming storybook and includes a stuffed bear with 2 hidden pockets, one in each hand, that allows your child to give their pacifiers to Binka Bear PERMANENTLY when the parent seals them inside with the easy to use laces.
Alternatively, you can do the same thing with a Build-A-Bear bear and have your child built their pacifier inside their bear.
Place all of their pacifiers in the garbage can on trash day. Watch the garbage truck dump the garbage into the garbage truck and wave “bye-bye” to their pacifier.
Let them help you gather all of their pacifiers and put them into a paper bag. Leave it in your mailbox or on the front porch. Tell them it’s going to go away but will be replaced by something special. Replace the bag with a new toy or something special just for them.
Dropping the pacifier is a huge change for your child and more than likely they’re going to need some extra support to help them cope and work through this big change. This is so normal and to be expected.
The most important thing is to be strong and don’t go back or run out to Target for a new one when you’ve done away with it ;) Decide on how you’re going to support them through the change and help them cope and then stick to your plan.
If you need help creating a plan to support your child through dropping the pacifier and/or they’re struggling with sleep, please know there is help!
Our mission at the Goodnight House is to equip parents with the tools necessary to help their babies get the sleep they need and experience more rest, peace, and joy in parenting.
If you’re expecting or you have a newborn (0-12 weeks old), our online Newborn Class is the perfect way to introduce healthy sleep habits and help them get better sleep from day one.
If you have an older baby or toddler, we offer1:1 Personalized Sleep Plans to help get your child (4+ months) sleeping 10-12 hours per night.