How to do an eat, wake, sleep routine with your newborn
We notice that there are two groups of parents. Those that LOVE Eat, Wake, Sleep (E,W,S) and those that absolutely hate it ;) There are also the parents who have tried really hard to make it work and just can’t quite get it to work for their family (they tend to fall into the hate category because it has caused a lot of stress and anxiety).
In this post, we are going to be talking all about EWS, why we love it and recommend it to everyone (even if you have a breastfed baby) and how it can and should be a tool that serves you, not something that stresses you out or causes anxiety or overwhelm.
What is Eat, Wake, Sleep?
In a 24 hour period, every baby needs to eat, be awake, and sleep multiple times right? The Eat, Wake, Sleep routine just gives you a rhythm to guide those things and guide your days.
Eat, Wake, Sleep is an approach to a simple routine you can do with your newborn or young baby. It's a structured way to approach your days and it has several benefits for you and your baby. It really helps new parents go from flying by the seat of their pants to having a little more of a guided routine.
At the Goodnight House, we LOVE Eat, Wake, Sleep, and here’s why:
It helps you learn to anticipate your baby’s needs
It helps ensure that your baby gets adequate nutrition and full feedings. This is because a baby who just took a nap will be more alert and awake and able to nurse or bottle feed much more efficiently than if they were drowsy and just barely awake.
It helps to ensure that your baby gets adequate sleep (because they’re getting full feedings, they’re not waking up sooner out of hunger). If your baby wakes up within 20 minutes, and you know they just had an awesome, full feeding, you can confidently explore some other reasons as to why they may have awakened.
Eat, Wake, Sleep is also an extremely gentle way to prevent a “feeding to sleep” association (the feed to sleep association is the most difficult and most common sleep association we see. EWS doesn’t mean you can never feed your baby to sleep, that would be crazy for us to tell you that and impossible for you to maintain, but it does give you a really easy way to set you and your baby up for nutrition and sleep success now and in the future.
The Basics of “Eat”
The most important part of the EWS routine is that the feeding part of the equation goes first, or right when your baby wakes up for the day and from naps.
Our number one tip for feeding is to focus on establishing your nursing or feeding relationship. We can give you all the sleep tips in the world, but if your baby is struggling to eat, our tips won’t get you very far.
How to establish feeding:
Get established with a lactation consultant ASAP, or even before your baby is born. Make sure that your hospital has a lactation consultant who will come meet with you while you’re still at the hospital (or find an independent lactation consultant - some can even meet with you virtually or come to your house).
Focus on full feedings by making sure your baby is awake and alert enough while they’re eating. You may need to work to keep your newborn awake while you feed them.
Why Keep Baby Awake?
Ensure baby gets a full feed + adequate nutrition
Establish nap times + their routine
Establish your milk supply
Ensure baby gets enough stimulation during wake time
The most important part of “EAT” is to always feed your baby when they’re hungry.
Use these strategies to help keep your baby awake during feedings:
Use your thumb to rub a circular motion on the palm of their hand
Rub their back, shoulders, or underarm
Sit them up
Talk, sing, etc.
Change their diaper between sides or halfway through bottle
Switch breasts or positioning of your baby
Burp baby
Can you do Eat, Wake, Sleep if you breastfeed?
We hear people say all the time that if you are breastfeeding you can’t do an Eat, Wake, Sleep routine because you need to be feeding your baby on demand. We encourage you to always ask what people or providers mean by “demand feeding.”
When you have a new baby, everyone around you is going to throw that phrase around, but not many people take the time to define it or explain it to new moms.
Demand Feeding: Watching for your baby’s hunger cues (hunger signs) and feeding according to those cues rather than adhering to a strict feeding schedule.
So often moms tell us that they thought demand feeding meant that any time their baby cried, it means they are demanding to eat or that they’re hungry. But babies cry for lots of different reasons. To assume a baby is hungry every time they cry is really doing them a disservice by not looking for the cause of the crying. They could be hungry. But they could also be hot, cold, have a dirty diaper, be tired, or just be upset and need to let some emotion out.
All that to say, the most important thing is to always feed your baby when they’re hungry. An Eat, Wake, Sleep routine can really help parents anticipate their baby’s needs and know when their baby might be hungry or when something else may need to be addressed first.
Please always consult with your pediatrician or a certified lactation consultant regarding your baby and their nutritional needs.
The Basics of “WAKE”
The more tired a baby is, the more overstimulated and harder to settle they become. This might look like crying, screaming, and/or being unable to settle for sleep (think: the witching hour).
Sleep begets sleep: A well-rested baby will fall asleep easier and stay asleep longer!
To help your newborn be well-rested and get the sleep they need we recommend following newborn wake windows.
Wake Windows: The amount of time your newborn can handle being awake between naps.
In the early weeks, your newborn will have very short wake windows (45-60 minutes of total wake time between daytime naps). Their wake window includes the time it takes to feed them, so it will seem like all they do is eat and get their diaper changed between sleeping - and that’s exactly right!
Tip: as soon as your baby wakes up for the day or from naps, set a 40 minute timer so you don’t lose track of their wake window and keep them awake too long.
The Basics of “SLEEP”
The tricky thing with newborns, is that they won’t always show sleep signs. This is why remembering their wake windows is so important. Crying is a late sleep sign. If they’re crying because they’re so tired, you’ve waited too long to offer them a nap.
Have you ever heard the phrase: “You can’t spoil a newborn?” Well it’s true! You can’t and you won’t.
Your newborn's sleep cycles aren't fully developed, so right now it's ok to help them fall asleep. The newborn stage is a great time to practice sleep skills (like taking the occasional nap in their bassinet), but it’s 100% ok to help your newborn fall asleep or help extend a nap if they wake early.
Once your baby’s sleep cycles develop (between 3-5 months), we'll work on helping them learn to fall asleep unassisted, but for now, we want to meet them where they are at developmentally.
Tip: Give your newborn the opportunity to take 2-3 naps in their bassinet or crib each day. The first nap of the day is typically the easiest!
What if Eat, Wake, Sleep isn’t working?
Eat, Wake, Sleep should be a tool that serves you, not something that stresses you out or causes anxiety or overwhelm. Eat, Wake, Sleep is just a rhythm, a guide, and a way to structure your day. It isn't going to look perfect every single time. In our online newborn sleep class we talk about EWS a lot. We go over all the basics as well as how to put it all together and use it in a way that will serve you and your new baby. We go into more detail on what to do if your day doesn’t go as planned or if your routine gets thrown off and you feel like Eat, Wake, Sleep just isn’t working.
We also talk a lot about how to have the Eat, Wake, Sleep routine grow with your baby during the entire newborn stage. Our goal is for EWS to be a grace-filled approach to your newborn’s sleep!