Your Child’s Perfect Bedtime Routine
Did you know that the steps you take in your child’s nap and bedtime routine sends a signal to their brain that it’s time for sleep? Each step becomes a cue that tells your child it’s almost time to go to sleep.
Having a consistent sleep routine that you do before every single sleep is a very small, but very important part of your child’s sleep puzzle. When we begin working with families, one of the very first things we do is help them come up with a sleep routine that they commit to doing before every single nap and bedtime.
Now, we know that bedtime can be one of the most stressful things for families. We’ve worked with families whose bedtime routines take up to an hour or more as they try to get their little one’s down for the night or for naps. Today’s episode is going to help bust some myths about bedtime routines and you will walk away knowing exactly what you need to do.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
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Why are bedtime routines important?
Having a predictable sleep routine is comforting and reassuring to our kids and it helps calms their little bodies and minds and know what’s coming next. We can’t go go go all day and then immediately plop our kids in their beds and expect them to fall right to sleep. They need that predictable time leading up to sleep to help prepare them and transition them from playing to sleeping.
Your child’s sleep routine gives you and your child special time to connect and bond.
At what age should my child start having a bedtime routine?
The amazing thing about bedtime routines is that you can start them from day one (and we would highly encourage you to!) In our newborn sleep class, we encourage parents to start a simple bedtime routine right away with their newborns.
Myths / Important aspects of bedtime routine
The magic of the bedtime routine isn’t really in what you do, but in how you do it. The repetitive steps that you do every single time is the key.
We also want to encourage you that bedtime routines do not have to be complicated or take all night. 15-30 minutes before their actual bedtime is really all you need.
They also don’t have to be boring, hush-hush, or feel like a punishment. Your child’s sleep routine should be a time of connection with you. It can be a special time where you can enjoy each other and spend a few sweet minutes together as a family or one-on-one with your child before you end the day ❤️
What should not be included in a bedtime routine?
Parents should feel a lot of freedom to create the type of bedtime routine they want for their kids, however, we would definitely discourage the use of screen time during the bedtime routine. The blue light from screens is not conducive for falling asleep and actually inhibits the production of melatonin (the hormone needed to fall asleep). It’s best to avoid screen time for about 2 hours before bedtime.
The other thing we encourage parents to avoid during their child’s bedtime routine - and I’m looking at you, dads - is rough housing or wrestling. Obviously, rough housing and wrestling with dad is something that we love to see and highly encourage - just not right before bed. It doesn’t help our kids calm down and relax like we’re aiming for because it increases adrenaline and makes it harder to fall asleep.
What should our bedtime / sleep routine look like?
Example bedtime routine for a newborn:
Diaper + jammies
Feed
Swaddle
Cuddle / song / book
Lights off
Sound machine
Down in crib
Example bedtime routine for an older baby or toddler:
Diaper + jammies
Nurse / bottle (if appropriate)
Sleep sack
Cuddle / song / book
Two Questions*
Lights off
Prayer
Sound machine
Down in crib
Example bedtime routine for preschool age child:
Brush teeth
Last chance for potty
Jammies
Cuddle / song / book(s)
Two Questions*
Lights off
Prayer
Sound machine
Down in bed
*2 Questions: If you have a toddler or a preschooler, you may find it helpful to implement “Two Questions,” into your bedtime routine. Let your child ask you two more questions or tell you two more things before it’s time to go to sleep. This allows them to get any last questions or thoughts off of their chests before lights out. It’s a great way to connect with them while also implementing a boundary around bedtime.
How can I do a bedtime routine if I have multiple kids?
This is probably a topic for an entire podcast episode, however, I wanted to touch on it just briefly. If you have multiple kids you are doing a bedtime routine with, we usually recommend:
Joint bath time and teeth brushing
Have jammies laid out for older child so that they can put them on while you’re changing the younger child
If they’re both/all old enough to have book preferences, let them each pick out one book
Give each child the opportunity to tell you two things or ask two questions (this gives them the opportunity to get any last thoughts off their chest and also gives them a boundary around questions and talking at bedtime.
Read and say prayers together
Depending on the ages and stages of your children, bedtime with multiple kids is going to look different during different seasons. It’s ok to reassess and change things up when a certain routine isn’t serving your family any longer.
What if we don’t have time for a full bedtime routine?
This actually happens to me a lot. I have three kids four and under and I’m pregnant with my fourth. My husband works late, so I’m often alone for bedtime with my kids. It’s ok to do an abbreviated routine when you have off nights or when you get home late, etc. I always try to let them know what to expect and that we’re going to be getting into bed quickly tonight. This might look like one book instead of two, or a shorter song.
We hope this episode was helpful and that it helps you create a special bedtime routine with your child. Bedtime doesn’t have to be a long drawn out thing, but it can be a really special time of connection and bonding for you and your child or your entire family.